that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
