Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
