under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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