Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
