I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
