whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
