Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
People in love make me want to vomit
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
