Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
