do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
