he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
