i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
