I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
