a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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