You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
