nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Semen is not good for contacts.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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