i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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