I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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