I want to walk on stilts...naked
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
