I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
