she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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