Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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