Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish my penis had an off switch
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
