She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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