I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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