Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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