bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
