I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
