this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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