hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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