He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
