Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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