Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
