So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
