porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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