Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
