...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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