weddingsv make me drug and hornr
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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