dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
