either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
