Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
