I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
