There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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