I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
