You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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