google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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