Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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