No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
