what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
