Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
