You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
