I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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